The Bathroom, Source of Hilarity.

Through a very scientific poll we have determined that "Toot" is the most hilarious word in the English language. In fact, this particular word is even funnier if you can manage to turn it from a verb into a noun and then into an adjective/noun hybrid all in the same sentence. For example, "I'm gonna toot with my tooters and then you'll smell my tooty toots."

Yes, it appears we've entered the bathroom humor phase of life.

They've also begun finding ways to sneak in body part humor into general conversation. This newly minted ability leaves the three of them giggling in little gelatinous pools all over the floor. Things like, "I wanted to go outside... BUTT... I guess I'll stay inside instead."

Please tell me they outgrow this soon.

Planet Frog

For Christmas this year Birdman was given a Planet Frog habitat. Inside the aquarium was a certificate for one tadpole. The day after Christmas Birdman got out his little pencil with his special pencil grip and painstakingly scrawled out his name and address. Then he got on his coat and made the long solitary journey out to our mailbox to send it off. Before he sent it off I read the fine print for him. I spent special time on the clause that read delivery in 6-8 weeks only in warm weather.

After he mailed it he asked for a calendar and calculated up his wait. He said, "Momma, I won't be able to do school during February 'cause I'll be takin' care of my tadpole."

Well. I just got the email. Our little tadpole friend should be arriving in our mailbox any day now.

Can you hear the leaps of 6 year old joy coming from Fisherville?

Gift of Love

Last fall we went to Washington DC and got to do all the touristy things. Birdman started collecting rocks and pebbles where ever we went. He would pick up a rock from the Mall and one from the zoo. Little things to keep in his pockets in order to remember his trip. There was this one rock he found that was almost transparent. Birdman treasured this one above all the others.

Last week, Birdman and I hit a rough patch. It was so bad that I had to call in the Fisherville Academy principal. After a long talk with his daddy, Birdman decided to apologize. He came to me with love in his eyes and said, "Momma, I'm sorry I wasn't nice to you. I promise to treat you nicely during school time. I want you to have this to make you happy."

And with that he laid his treasured transparent rock in my hands. He beamed up at me and said, "Momma, isn't that the prettiest rock ever? I want you to keep it so that it will make you happy."

My eyes were misting up as I realized how special this little gift of love was. I held the little pebble in my hands and said, "Thank you, son. It is wonderful."

Birdman lovingly replied, "Yeah, I found it in that alley behind the garbage can when we were in Washington."

EEUUUEWWWWW!!!!

Free! FREE!

For the last 6 years we've only been able to watch our local stations via a giant antenna in the attic. We live too far out in the country to get cable. But we dropped our satelite subscription last year because we found we were only watching the broadcast stations anyway. However, the clarity of those stations has been grainy.

This morning we had an HDTV digital receiver put on our big screen TV and we now get all the local digital feeds FREE!

We've got 6 channels of PBS! 3 channels of NBC! HDTV Olympic coverage!

Forget paying $35/month to Direct TV- we've got it all from our antenna on the roof combined with a set top box HDTV receiver. The antenna pulls down the digital signal that the local stations broadcast and then the receiver converts it to high definition. I'm doing flips here.

Fisherville Academy is on vacation this week while we rot our brains with wall to wall coverage of the Winter Olympics! WAHOOO!!!!

Mammals make milk.

Well, my kidlets didn't connect the dots at the zoo but they sure did today during science class.

Me: Who can tell me the characteristics of a mammal?

Birdman: They have fur or hair

Rocketman: They are warm blooded.

Me: Good! And they are also the only creatures who make milk. Remember that we are mammals. So humans can also make milk.

Gooseygirl: You mean, like, at the grocery store?

Me: No, mommies make milk for their babies from their breasts.

Dead silence. They looked at me like I was about to sprout a second head. Then they started giggling which sent me into a fit of giggles too.

Gooseygirl: We knew that. It comes from here.
Gooseygirl picks up her shirt and points at her belly button.

Me: No, that is how you got food while you were inside of my body. I'm talking about after you were born. You drank milk that my body made because I'm a mammal.

At this point, all three of them were staring at my breasts with wrinkled brows and disbelief.

Gooseygirl (reaches over and squeezes both of my breasts): Are you talking about your humps?

Me: Yes.

Birdman: But how? Does something come out of your skin?

Me: No, it is already poking out of my skin. Mommies have breasts. Babies drink milk from their mommies' breasts.

Rocketman: You mean these two things?
He lifts up his shirt to point at his nipples.

Me: Yes, but you are a boy. You don't make milk. Only the girls. Someday Gooseygirl will feed her baby milk that her body has made.

A look of the primitive fight or flight instinct passes over Gooseygirl's face. Her two brothers turn to look at her with new eyes and suspicion.

Birdman (to Gooseygirl): You're gonna have twins 'cause you've got two of 'em!

Gooseygirl, at this point, is near panic.
Gooseygirl: Stop looking at me!!!

Rocketman (turns to me with astonishment): That means, you've got three of them????

I dissolved into a fit of giggles. It was the end of science for the day. However, they keep stealing looks at my chest. Science lesson... check!

Mamma, will I have humps like you?

At some point today I'm going to have to talk about my humps. At least, that's what Gooseygirl calls them. I'm talking about breasts. Recently she patted me on the chest and said, "Mamma, when I get bigger am I going to have humps like you?"

Today our science lesson is about mammals. The lesson points out that humans are mammals and then proceeds to discuss the characteristics of mammals including, of course, nursing their young. My kidlets have run across this fact in other books but have always thought it referred to a tall glass of ice cold 2%.

For the lesson, we are headed to the zoo where we'll play a game identifying mammals. During the game if we see a mammal nursing her young we get an additional 50 bonus points. At some point they will connect the dots, from themselves to my humps.

I've got pictures of the three of them laying on me while Birdman nurses. However, I think that would induce to much trauma in one day. Wish me luck! We're headed to the zoo now.

A hug for my heart

I was cleaning out some papers on my desk and found this note. BirdMan wrote it while we were at a Halloween party. There were different craft booths and he was bopping between each one. He was on his own and just having fun exploring the room without anyone else.

One of the booths was a thankful wreath and the children were asked to write down what they were thankful for. The only reason I found this is because later I was wandering around and decided to read what all the other children had written.
Finding it nestled with all the other sentiments was a little hug to my heart!

Modjeskas and flood control

Yesterday Fisherville Academy had a field trip to Schimpff's Candy Store. They've been in business since 1891 and make candy the old fashioned way. During our tour they were making Modjeskas which is a marshmallow dipped in caramel. Everything is done by hand from dipping the goodies in a vat of chocolate to individually wrapping each piece in wax paper. The kids seemed to enjoy the tour but the candy isn't what captured their imagination. Instead, they were more impressed with the flood.

During the tour, our guide took us outside and showed us the markings on the wall of where the Ohio flooded in the late 1800's. As we stood on the sidewalk the kids were able to see that the Ohio would have been about a foot over their heads. Then our guide told us to step back and look up. On the second floor level were red bricks marking the level of the great Ohio river flood of 1937. The kids were AMAZED.

After the tour, we drove down to the river and showed the kids the flood wall that was built after that big flood to protect our town. Then we headed down to the falls of the Ohio and saw the water spilling over the dam. It was all serendipity because our next stop was the IMAX movie, Mysteries of the Nile. During our history lessons this year, they've studied how the yearly flooding of the Nile was crucial to ancient Egypt. After the movie we got to check out the museum's mummy. It was a wonderful day and we were glad that Grandma agreed to be a chaperone!

The kids told me their career aspirations yesterday:

GooseyGirl: Veterinarian, Zookeeper or Pet Shop Worker
RocketMan: Veterinarian, Cheetah expert or Piano Player at the local department store
BirdMan: Veterinarian, Engineer or Helping children make K'nex models at the Children's Center in Baltimore

Persia, Athens and Sparta

Sixty years. Sixty! That's how long the Persian War with the Greeks lasted. Sixty! Considering the average life span at that time I just can't imagine being in a conflict that long. Then after the Spartans and Athenians drove out the Persians they turned on each other and fought for another 25 years during the Peloponnesian Wars.

Today during history we talked about the war between Sparta and Athens. The kids were especially intrigued by the story of Alcibiades (whom I'd never heard of). He wanted to be King and talked the Athenians, weakened from the plague, into fighting the Spartans. They lost horribly so he deserted Athens and turned traitor. What a scoundrel! The kids decided he was very, very naughty. Words like loyalty, trust and leadership were flying around the schoolroom.

What I like most about the classical approach to education is the chronological study of history that moves forward with great depth and repeats the cycle every four years. This year the kids are studying the ancients which covers from the nomads to about 400AD. They've had such fun with Greek history that we've sort of camped out here in the book and wallowed in the Greek myths and gods for a bit.

They know that Athens was dedicated to the goddess Athena and that the Spartans refused to help Athens fight Persia at the Battle of Marathon due to an ongoing religious festival they were having. Today Gooseygirl said, "Mommy, each side thought their gods would look out for them and help them to win their wars."

I said, "Do you think their gods really did help them win or lose?"

She said, "No".

I said, "Well, even today people believe that God is involved in the outcome of war and battles that countries have with each other. What do you think?"

She said, "I think it just makes Him sad."

Some days I teach my kids but most days my kids teach me.

It's a spoon, not a shovel.

You know you are a grownup when.... new furniture is exciting. Last week we bought a new kitchen table. Which meant it was the perfect time to talk about table manners during our daily character lessons.

Each day we'd practice setting the table and talked about how to be considerate at the table. I showed them how to eat soup by pushing the spoon away from you and wiping the bottom of the spoon on the rim of the bowl. I put water in their bowls as they each practiced this feat.

Finally, on Friday, we had soup for lunch. I placed their bowls on an underplate and gave them one of our fancy spoons to use. They were so proud of themselves. Rocketman reminded everyone not to slurp the soup like a camel. Gooseygirl passed out the napkins and the Birdman showed everyone how perfectly he was pushing the spoon away from him so that he could wipe the spoon on the bowl exactly like we'd practiced.

I was so happy with how much pride they were taking in their table manner lessons. Birdman looked at me lovingly with his blue eyes and said, "Momma, didn't I use my best manners today?" Then with great care he put his spoon down, picked up his soup bowl, brought it to his mouth and proceeded to suck up the last bits of broth in his bowl.

Sigh... not quite ready for dinner with the queen yet.

Rocketman's Quilt

Rocketman finished his quilt top and he is VERY proud! He picked out all the fabric himself, I cut it and he sewed it together. He knows about the quilts my internet quilting group is making for sick children in the hospital. He has asked that this quilt go to the sick kids.

Once I find some time to quilt it, he'll go with me to donate it. The Bird and the Goose are also working on their quilts. I'll post their pictures when they're done.