BirdMan Hits a Milestone

Somehow, somewhere, sometime... the switch was flipped. I don't know how, but it has happened and there ain't no turnin' back.

BirdMan's got BO.

His body's sweat glands have kicked into gear and he can curl your nose.

For the last seven years he would sweat and perspire but without the icky aroma. Until now. You wouldn't think this milestone is worthy of a blog entry but surprisingly it's worth that AND a seven year old happy dance.

After all, grownups use deodorant. Big boys have stinky pits. BirdMan considers this as undeniable, scientific proof that he is, in fact, growing up.

"I'm not little anymore, Momma! My pits are smelly!", he exclaimed with a huge smile, practically giddy.

Now, RocketMan still hasn't reached this stinky mile marker of life and he is so disappointed. "Momma, am I smelly?", he'll ask.

"No, baby, you smell great", I'll say.

"But MOM-M-M-M-MA! My pits really DO stink. Here, smell them again", RocketMan will plead as he follows me around with his arm raised up hopefully.

During Shawn's recent grocery run, he decided the time had come to get BirdMan his own stick of deodorant, Ultra Dry Degree for Men. You'd have thought he'd brought home an X-box. Of course, he got deodorant for both boys. After all, you can't give a great toy like deodorant to only one child.

BIRDMAN AND ROCKETMAN (opening the Kroger bag): "Oh, Dad! You're the best! I can't believe it! I LOVE Man Degree! Oh, WOW! Thanks! I love you Dad!"

Birdman and RocketMan threw their arms around Shawn. They were simply THRILLED to have their own manly-man stink suppressor.

The next morning RocketMan and Birdman came down the stairs already fully dressed and ready for the day. They seemed to be standing a little taller, with a little strut in their step.

BIRDMAN TO ROCKETMAN: "Boy, this Man Degree sure does work."

ROCKETMAN: "Let me see."

BirdMan lifts his arm and RocketMan proceeds to put his entire nose into Birdman's pits while inhaling deeply.

ROCKETMAN: "Yeah, that sure does work good."

BIRDMAN (seeing Mommy standing there for the first time): "Hi, Mom. I sure am glad Dad got me this Man Degree. It really makes my pits smell good. You wanna smell too?"

MOMMY (contemplating whether mothers who have only girls ever experience a conversation like this): "Um, no honey. I'm good. Thanks, though."

BIRDMAN: "Sure, Mom. Hey, brother, wanna go play soccer and see if our Man Degree will still work?"

ROCKETMAN: "Yeah! Let's go!"

BirdMan and RocketMan bound out the front door through the August rainforest-esque heat to the soccer field, committed to testing the outer limits of their new deodorant toy.

I watch them play.

They'd run a few goals. Stop. Sniff each other's pits.

Run a few goals. Stop. Sniff. Repeat.


Tags: homeschool, parenting, humor, triplets

buzz words: homeschool, parenting, humor, triplets