Adrenaline Rush

GooseyGirl is terrified of roller coasters. The boys? They say, BRING IT ON!


Which means that either Shawn or I have to sit with GooseyGirl while the rest of the family screams their brains out on the hills and curves of adrenaline when we visit amusement parks. This past weekend we decided to take the kids to the local amusement park, Kentucky Kingdom. I was hopeful that GooseyGirl would be open to more grown up rides now that they've are seven.

I quickly discovered that was a pipe dream.

After hitting the wave pool we started for the coasters. Everyone was excited. Everyone except GooseyGirl. The the tears started flowing as we approached the entrance, so I ended up sitting with her while Shawn and the boys went on the Twisted Twins. Of course, that meant that one of the boys had to sit by themselves. It ended up being RocketMan but I think Shawn would have preferred if he had been the lucky odd man out, because a blonde 18 year old hottie was placed in the empty seat next to RocketMan.

After the ride RocketMan's face was beet red and he looked uncomfortable in his own skin with a sheepish grin on his face. I asked him what was wrong. "Oh, nothing", he replied. "Just this girl sat with me. She was scared so I held her hand to help her be brave."

At that point his grin broke out into a wide smile as he ducked his head and tried to change the subject. He's only seven! Shouldn't girls still be icky at this age?

It reminded me of our trip to Disney's MGM studio in Florida a couple years ago. Disney has this great program where your spouse can stand in line for a ride while you wait for them at the exit with the scardycats... er... reluctant children. After your spouse rides the ride, you switch places and then you can go without having to wait in a long line again. We did this on the Tower of Terror ride.

Have you ridden it? It is a huge dark elevator shaft and you sit facing the mirrored elevator doors as the ride pulls you up in the air. Then the elevator doors fly open, the Florida sun blasts your pupils as you hang there for just a tiny moment before you plunge straight down into the darkness again. This happens about three times. It is one of the scariest rides in any of the theme parks and I couldn't wait for my turn.

Shawn went first while I waited with the kidlets because there was no way we'd be letting any of the kids on this ride. We got to wait right beside the big video screens that take pictures of each person on the ride. The kids could see that every picture featured a panicked, freaked out adult screaming at the top of their lungs. Clearly, this was one horrific ride. The boys decided they wanted no part of it and they were flabbergasted that their mother was willing to ride it. I was surprised how much it impressed them. I suppose they think Dad's the only brave one in the house and for Mommy to willingly strap herself in and freefall made them raise their eye brows a bit.

I have to admit that I wallowed in this new admiration as we waited for Shawn to return so I could ride. I really played up how scary this ride was and had them look at the pictures of the riders as evidence of how frightening this ride truly was. I neglected to factor in how all that smack talk was effecting my own levels of trepidation. By the time it was my turn, I had psyched myself out so badly that my stomach was in knots but I couldn't NOT ride the ride. My kids were counting on me! Mommy was brave, right!?!

Um.. yeah...

After taking some meager deep breaths, I was seated next to an incredibly large, muscle bound father and his preteen son. The feminist inside me rolled her eyes as I admitted to myself that I was lucky I had a big strong man next to me to protect me.

The mirrored elevator doors shut and everyone was looking at everyone else a bit self consciously. We started up the elevator shaft and I'm preparing myself for the drop. I know exactly what will happen and I'm trying to be a grownup about it. After all, the kids are sitting in the room watching the pictures of their oh-so-brave mother riding the superdy dooperdy scary ride.

Suddenly the doors flung open and there we were perched high above the magical world of Disney for a split second.

Then we dropped.

I screamed like a little girl and flung myself on Mr. Muscle Daddy Man. We're talking a white knuckle leeching grab onto his huge biceps while screaming like a banshee and kicking my legs. The drop stops and the mirrored doors close. I release my grip and try to compose myself as Mr. Muscle Daddy Man starts belly laughing. As we continue our ascent to the top again, I can see Mr. Muscle Daddy Man's preteen son's reflection in the mirrored doors. He is looking over at me trying to decide who this crazy woman is that grabbed his dad, who is still laughing, by the way.

The doors fling open again and we hang there. I promise myself I'm not going to grab him again. I will scream like I mean it, but I will keep my hands to myself, darn it!

We drop. I grab him with both hands this time. He starts laughing even harder.

The doors close, I release him and we head to the top again. His son leans over and I can hear him whisper, "Dad, who is that?"

Mr. Muscle Daddy Man says, "I don't know" and continues to belly laugh.

His preteen is now studying me hard trying to decided if I pose a threat. I start pounding my feet on the floor of the elevator. I'm quite sure that if it weren't for the restraint harness I would bolt. Bolt where... I have no idea... just far away from the Tower of Terror, far away from Florida, maybe to somewhere with anti anxiety drugs. I think if I just keep stomping my feet I'll be able to keep from freaking out.

Doors open. Free fall.

This is where things get a little blurry but I'm pretty sure I tried to climb into his lap. However the restraints only allowed me to get my head buried into his neck as both arms were now snaked around his biceps. More screaming for me, more laughing for him, more concern and suspicion from the boy.

Thankfully that drop was the last and the ride was over. I released him and said, "Sorry about that", as I ducked away down the hall to my waiting family. The kids all gave me a hug. BirdMan points up at the gigantic video screen and asks, "Mommy, who was that man you were hugging?"

I look up and there I am. Me. Bigger than life with a death grip on Mr. Muscle Daddy Man.

Just then, he passed by my little family on his way to his wife with their baby stroller. He was still laughing as his wife looked back and forth from the big screen to me attempting to figure out exactly what the heck happened to her hubby on the ride.

Eager to change the subject and put some distance between myself and Mr. Muscle Daddy Man's wife, I said, "Hey, kids! Let's go find Mickey Mouse!"

My little crew of admirers let out a cheer and off we went into the hot Florida sun. Thankfully we didn't run into Mr. Muscle Daddy Man or his family the rest of the day.




Buzz Words: homeschool, roller coaster, kentucky kingdom, tower of terror, parenting, humor, triplets