Parrot Supplies Suprise

There are the standard things that you need when you get a bird that are completly expected. A cage, seeds and toys, for instance. Then there are the completely unexpected bird accessories, like panty liners.

Yesterday I stood in the Target aisle of feminine products looking at the dozens of styles, trying to figure out which brand would best suit my parrot, Apollo. Would he like the extra soft? The long and tapered? The scented or unscented. Decisions, decisions.

All those embarrassing commercials I've seen over the years didn't help me make up my mind. Birdy hygiene needs are rarely covered in the magazine ads or TV spots. Exactly how do you pick out the right panty liner for a parrot and, moreover, why does the bird need one, you ask?

It is for his diaper.

I can see the magazine spread now...
A lovely rainbow colored jump suit made of stretch nylon with ample room for his supple wings. The suit gives him freedom and comfort along with peace of mind for his humans. The attached stylish leash provides safety from unwanted flight while the poop pouch absorbs waste and keeps your shoulder free from unwanted debris.

Now that would make interesting ad copy.

Aside from the biting that Apollo engages in when we strap on his suit, he seems to enjoy his walks outside and his car trips to the post office. The suit has a little pouch that hangs below the business end and the panty liners catch the business. It doesn't bind him and is quite soft. He has gone for walks and bike rides so far but seems to enjoy the bicycle over the big wheel.

Apollo has enjoyed meeting some of our neighbors but doesn't seem to like the neighbor's Great Dane, Caesar. Which goes to prove that Greek Gods and Roman Emperors weren't destined to be friends. We all know that too much ego all in one place never works out.

They also make the suits in theme fabric for Halloween. The suit comes with a little witches hat and a cape. I don't think Apollo would go for the cape. The Easter suit comes with bunny ears. Seriously though, what self respecting bird would actually wear bunny ears with his diaper. I mean, get real.

Summer Shave

Lilly got shaved.
Bwhahahahaha!!!!!!

As I was taking this picture someone was driving through the neighborhood and came to a full stop. They stuck their head out the window and asked, "Excuse me, what kind of dog is that?"

My answer? (Come on, you know it. You can see it coming.)

Yep...

"An embarassed one."

No Wake Zone

We took the kidlets out on the boat yesterday. It was a beautiful sunny day and the lake was packed with people. One of Shawn's co-workers recently gave him an inter tube that seats two. It is bright red with the stars and stripes covering the front and twin eagles in the back. It is HUGE! The kids have so much fun riding together. They chat with each other the whole time. I love watching them grin from ear to ear as they ride side by side.

Since the tube only seats two, that leaves one child on the boat as the lookout. Their job is to watch their siblings and report all hand signals to the driver.

Thumbs up= Speed Up.
Thumbs Down= Slow down.
Hand slicing throat= Stop.
Arms, Legs pointing in different directions= Man overboard!


We had just put the boat in the water and were getting everything setup. Right around the dock there is a no wake zone marked by some buoys so that the waves coming off all those boats don't overwhelm the people trying to get their boats in and out of the water. The law is you aren't allowed to go fast enough to cause a wake or wave from your boat. On busy weekends the water cops are out to make sure everyone obeys the zone. We put GooseyGirl and Birdman in the tube and started towing them gently out of the no wake zone.

There was a boat of adults watching all of this right next to us. They were smiling at our little spectacle of kiddos in matching life vests sitting in a massive bright red inter tube adorned with patriotic motifs. They waved at the kids and seemed tickled to watch our giddy children. RocketMan was in the boat ready to interpret any incoming hand signals. He's on the job and darn serious about it too.

Suddenly, the first signal came in from BirdMan. It was the "Thumbs Up".

RocketMan quickly assesses the meaning and knows that BirdMan is requesting the boat to go faster. RocketMan turns around to see how far we are from the buoys that designate the no wake zone. We still have a good distance to cover before Shawn can get going fast. RocketMan knows he must relay this information.

RocketMan cups his hands around his mouth so that he can be sure his shouts will carry all the way back to BirdMan, "We have to wait until we're passed the BOOBIES".

"Umm, sweetie, the word is BUOYS", I said.

"Oh", RocketMan replied as he goes back to his lookout post, completely unaware of the boat beside us that is now busting out with laughter.

I think we made their day.

Happy Hanukkah!

You've heard of Christmas in July? Well, it is Hanukkah in June!

Yesterday during our history lesson, the Romans destroyed the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem which then scattered the Jews all over the world. As I explained that it was only recently that Jerusalem came back under Jewish control, I had one of those Star Trek space/time continuum moments. It really boggles my mind and makes me feel very, very small when I consider that an event from 70 AD reverberates and effects today's history and conflicts.

After we talked about the Jewish faith we made paper dreidels and played the dreidel game. Then we made Latkes (Jewish potato pancakes) for dinner. YUM! Shawn called on his way home from work and RocketMan picked up the phone.

"Hi, son. What are you doing?", Shawn asks.

"Oh, we're being Jewish", RocketMan replies nonchalantly.

I can almost hear Shawn's brows wrinkle through the phone lines.

Last night during dinner we were bringing Shawn up to date on what we've been doing in our history lessons. GooseyGirl and RocketMan were telling him how the Jews scattered after the Romans destroyed the Jewish temple... "You know, Dad, they scattered like when you blow on a dandelion and the seeds go everywhere". I was so proud of how much history they were taking in and how well they could explain what we've been studying.

Just when I was ready to pat myself on the back, BirdMan looks at me and says, "Momma, will my baby fangs fall out someday?"

I had to laugh! The tooth fairy has been a regular visitor here lately and apparently has become a bigger factor in our lives than I'd realized! Apparently only two thirds of my kids were paying attention during history. The other 33% was contemplating how much money he could earn from the teeth he has left to cash in.

Did you know?

Did you know?

A green bird walking on green carpet is hard to see but not hard to step on.

He's fine. My heart rate isn't.

Quote of the day

After returning from my 5 days at the Quilt Retreat, Nick batted his eyes at me and said, "Mommy, I'm glad you're home because I couldn't live without you."

My love quotient overflows!

Quilt Retreat

Well, I'm back from a long weekend at my internet quilt group's retreat. This was the third year of our group getting together. I had a wonderful time but I'll be recovering from the lack of sleep for a few more days!

For the last year, women from all over the country have been working on a quilt top for me. I did the center square and everyone else added a block to the quilt. It was a huge secret all year long. I finally got to see it at the retreat and I'm humbled by the talent of the women who worked on my quilt. What a work of art!

We did school-light today but will be more in the swing of things tomorrow.

Quilty Vacation

About five years ago I decided I would learn to quilt. It quickly became more than a hobby. Through quilting I'm able to express my love for others and touch a future generation. One of the unexpected benefits was the opportunity to meet some really wonderful women.

After deciding to learn quilting I joined an online message board that went belly up about 2 years ago. Since then many of the women from that old group formed a new online quilty community.

Every summer for the past three years we've had a retreat in the middle of the country. Today is the first day of the retreat and I'll be driving five hours to hang out with my internet friends. Many of those women I've never met but I talk to every day. It will be so much fun putting names with faces and sewing my fingers off for the next four days.

One of the projects we are doing as a group is making "Love Covers" for the St. Louis Children's Hospital. The picture you see is the one I did. It is a crib size quilt that I backed in fleece. It is super snuggly and my kidlets all agreed that it would make a sick child feel better.

Needless to say, Fisherville Academy is on vacation until next week! Check back with us then.

Birdie Beauty Shop Day

"Mom, I'm so glad we got a bird.", RocketMan said with is big brown lovey eyes.

Yep, it is official. Apollo has us wrapped around his little feathered wing tips.

This explains why I was standing in the plumbing aisle of Home Depot for an hour on Saturday. Did you see us? I was the woman with the three children trying to explain to the dumbfounded plumbing department employee how many pieces of PVC I needed, and which sizes I needed him to cut. Let's see... 10 four inch pieces, 8 six inch pieces, 4 two inch pieces, etc.

Finally he said, "Mamm, what exactly are we making with all these little pieces you are having me cut?"

"Oh, a parrot playground", I replied with wavering confidence.

The plumbing man smiled at me with vague concern about my mental stability as my kids swirled around him. Finally he loaded up all the myriad of connectors I needed and sent us on our way with two extra 10 foot PVC pipes "just in case". I gave one to RocketMan to carry and one to BirdMan to carry.

That was a mistake.

"BOYS! Those are NOT lances!", I said in my stern mommy voice as they galloped through the lumber aisle.

They stopped trying to spear each other and instead held them up as high in the air as they could. Ten feet of half inch PVC pipe is very, very bendy. All three were non-stop giggles as the other customers were taking great care to steer as far away from my little traveling acrobats as possible.

Once we got home we put together Apollo's big birdie playground that now sits in the schoolroom. That's the picture you see. The new playground has perches and two toy hangers. We wrapped the sections of PVC in twine so the bird could get a good grip with his feet. Apollo seems to really enjoy all the things to chew on and hang on!

While we were out, we had also stopped by Walmart to buy a kitty litter pan for our bird. Why a kitty litter pan? Well, using the PVC, we built a perch stand with a toy holder. The contraption sits inside the litter pan and we can carry Apollo from room to room without worrying about the back end of the bird depositing any presents on the carpet. And since the perch is made from PVC and the kitty pan is plastic, it is very easy to clean. Those two facts gave me an idea.

Conures are real water babies and Apollo tries to leap into any water he sees, including his water bowl. He then shakes his feathers like a dog and water goes EVERYWHERE! Cleaning a bird shouldn't mean cleaning all the kitchen counters, kitchen floor and kitchen cabinets at the same time. That's when I thought, hey... I need a shower... and Apollo likes showers.... hmmmmmm.

I'm happy to say that Apollo's Kitty Litter Pan Perch fits perfectly on the bench in our shower stall! He chirped and squawked and spread out his wings while I sprayed water into the air and let it fall down on his body. He shook to his heart's delight while I finished washing my hair. He kept tilting his head and looking at me intently. I don't think he recognized me without clothes and a wet head. However, the strange looking naked woman with the familiar voice didn't seem to traumatize him too much. (I did keep one eye open in case he decided to fly to me and land with those strong hooked toes onto a miscellaneous body part.)

After I towelled off, I turned on the hair dryer and blow dried his feathers. He seemed to really like that.

Birdie Beauty Shop Day... Check!

Discombobulated

One of the biggest lessons of motherhood is that whenever you hear sudden utter silence... start running. The opposite also applies, whenever you hear sudden uproarious peals of laughter... start running.

During lessons yesterday we read a book about a pigeon flying through Rome. The pigeon gets hit by a soccer ball and becomes "discombobulated". My kidlets thought this word was HILARIOUS and continued to repeat it over and over throughout the morning.

Later that afternoon, I was cleaning out the toy room and found two Sit n' Spins under a pile of dress up clothes behind the couch. The kids haven't played with these things in over a year and it was a reminder to me that I need to weed out some of the toys they don't touch anymore.

Of course, trying to clean and weed a playroom while the children are awake is like pushing chain. You don't get very far and frustration is all you achieve. I gave up and retreated to my sewing room where the mess is all mine. GooseyGirl came in and asked if she could get Apollo, our new Green Cheeked Conure, out of his cage. I gave her permission and she skipped away.

A few minutes later I heard the aforementioned peals of laughter coming from the playroom.

I started running.

There was GooseyGirl with Apollo on her head while she sat on the Sit n' Spin going round and round like mad. RocketMan and BirdMan were belly laughing saying, "Look Mom, Apollo is discombobulated!"

It wasn't exactly the vocabulary lesson I had in mind.

I stopped her immediately but I'm thinking Apollo should have pooped in her hair. That would have been a better punishment then anything I could have dished out.

Apollo is okay but I'm sure he prefers a perch that isn't reminiscent of the teacup ride at Disney world. I hope this bird is patient with us. We're gonna need it!

What I learned in First Grade.

On the homeschool email loop I belong to there is an extended conversation with a woman whose children are academically advanced. They attend public school and aren't being challenged. She has asked to have them moved into a higher grade and the school has refused.

Now she is contemplating homeschooling her kids for a year so that she can re-enter them into the school system next year. Her hope is that her children will be tested and subsequently re-entered in a higher grade. Most of the people on the loop are telling her that it won't make a difference. Our school system places students based on their birthday not their academic level.

This conversation came about at an interesting time for me and my first graders. RocketMan just started his new math book this week. He has a natural aptitude for math and I've allowed him to move ahead at his own pace as long as he demonstrates mastery. The math book he just started is the fourth grade book. BirdMan just started the third grade book. Meanwhile, GooseyGirl is in the regular math book for her grade.

One of my aunts, a former public school teacher, has told me that I won't ever be able to enroll them in regular school because they'd be too far ahead and would be bored. She is very encouraging and doesn't mean that comment to sound negative but others have said it to me in a negative way.

Could I be ruining my children by allowing them to advance at their own pace? Wouldn't it be worse to force them to function in a classroom far below their ability and interests? Wouldn't that quickly squelch their love for learning? Moreover, do I even have any control over how quickly they grasp ideas and facts?!?

A woman on the email loop responded with anger to the message. She said, "Let your kids be KIDS. Why make them advance one or two grades above their age group? Why force them to interact with other kids that are older, bigger, stronger? Keep them in the same class with their peers and enrich their academic life after school."

Her response really struck me. She perceives the problem to be a pushy parent who is forcing the child to move faster then others. She must think the Pushy Parent is standing over her kids in a strict academic environment, forcing them to learn just to boost her own ego.

I can tell you that isn't the case in my home. At times I feel like I'm pulling them back trying to keep them from going too far. I have to remind myself to believe in them and let them flourish. GooseyGirl is reading Black Beauty right now on her own. It is listed as 7th grade book. BirdMan just finished The Twenty-One Balloons and RocketMan just started it. That book is also listed as a 7th grade book.

I suppose the email loop made me think today how truly grateful I am that homeschooling is legal in this country. I'm just as thankful for the opportunity to watch my children flourish and see the light twinkle in their eyes when it "clicks". Of course, I can't see into the future very far, but right now I just can't imagine any other path for my kids.

As we wrap up first grade and I order our books for second grade, I think I needed this sort of reality check. What we are doing is working right now. It might not work forever but I can't worry about that right now. I have to spend my time honoring where my kids are at now and meeting them there.

Ya' know? I think I've learned a ton from first grade this year and I know my kidlets have too.

Apollo's First Mission

We have 20 foot ceilings in our family room. Normally that little trivia fact is quite unimportant... unless you are a parrot.

When we picked up our new conure from the breeder she had clipped Apollo's wings. This was crucial so that we could keep our little birdie safe while we had him out of his cage to play with him. He enjoys sitting on our shoulders or the tops of our heads.

Saturday, Shawn and BirdMan took off for the fishing pond down the street while RocketMan and GooseyGirl stayed with me to finish their dinner. Once they were done, we got Apollo out of his cage to give him some scritches.

He promptly took off flying into the family room, bounced off the plate glass window and ricocheted into the large grapevine wreath hanging at the top of the room.

That was when I realized the breeder hadn't cut all the flight feathers.

Apollo was quite impressed with his new freedom. Here he was at the top of this great new perch with lots of fun things to chew and climb on, while his humans put on a great show, down below jumping and shouting and calling his name.

GooseyGirl, my drama queen, started crying, "Mommy, how are we going get him? I love him and I don't want to loose him! Will he ever come back? Oh, what are we going to do?"

I turned to RocketMan and said, "Go to the pond and tell Daddy that we need him to come home and get the big ladder so we can rescue Apollo. Tell him to hurry!" RocketMan quickly headed to fetch Dad.

I attempted to entice Apollo down by holding up every yummy birdie treat we could find. Apollo wasn't impressed. He really liked breaking off all the little grapevine bits from the wreath and happily watched them float to the ground.

How in the world was I going to get this bird down before he ingested the fake little plastic berries on that wreath or took off again trying to bust through the plate glass window to the freedom beyond?

Well, I shot him down with a bazooka. To be more precise, an air bazooka.

Now, before you go reporting me to the ASPA, know that an air bazooka is a toy that shoots out a harmless ball of air up to 20 feet away. My plan was to ruffle his feathers a bit with a small blast of air and startle him to coming down to earth.

Luckily, the Airzooka has a scope on it.

I carefully aimed it at my very expensive rain forest creature and let fly a blast of air.

I missed but managed to hit the ribbon decorating the bottom of the wreath and a cloud of dust wafted through the air. Who knew an Airzooka was an effective dusting tool for hard to reach places?

After a few more attempts and compensations for the inaccurate scope, I had a direct hit! Granted it was only a small puff of air to my little bird friend but it was enough to talk him into fleeing his new lofty home and landing on my head. Minutes later he was safely locked in his cage while I searched my bird books on how to clip wings.

After GooseyGirl and I read up on wing clipping and dried her tears, we locked Apollo in the bathroom and clipped his flight feathers. It worked! Apollo is now grounded which is safer for all involved.

Things had just settled down in the house when Shawn came back in with BirdMan and RocketMan from the fishing pond. I lost it.

"Where have you been? Why didn't you come back when RocketMan told you the bird was loose?", I screeched.

Dumbfounded, Shawn replied, "RocketMan came to the pond but he picked up his pole and started fishing. Did you say Apollo got loose?"

I turned to RocketMan. "Didn't you tell Daddy to come home and get the ladder because Apollo was loose in the house?"

"Um.... well, um...., I told him but I don't think he heard me", RocketMan replied.

"Why don't you think he heard you?", I asked.

"Um... well, um..., I don't think he heard me because I was far away from him", RocketMan said.

(Note to self: Must work on communication skills with RocketMan.)

Bird is now safe and sound. He slept soundly the night after his first mission but seems no worse for wear.

The Eagle Has Landed!

Apollo, our new Green Cheeked Conure, has arrived! We got up very early this morning to meet the breeder and pick up our new feathered friend. He is busy exploring his new home and playing with his toys.

The kids turned on Dragon Tales to watch while they ate dinner and Apollo got very still and quiet. It appears he is a cartoon fan!

Meanwhile, GooseyGirl woke up with an earache, RocketMan woke up with an ashma attack and BirdMan's tummy hurts. It is pouring outside and we are about to load up to get to the doctor. What a way to start our weekend, eh?