Pick another career, RocketMan

I love our laid back mornings. I don't have to rush to get the kidlets to the bus or figure out if they need lunch money or gym shoes that day. We just start our mornings when we feel like it. This morning GooseyGirl and Rocket Man crawled in bed with me for some snuggling. Our bedroom has a large window that looks out over the back of our property and you can watch the tops of the trees sway back and forth. It is quite relaxing.

We were lying there and enjoying the chickadees flitting from one branch to another when RocketMan suddenly said, "Mom, your room is like New Mexico."

"What?", I said looking around for the cactus and deserts.

"It is like New Mexico. See how it goes out by the window but the rest is a rectangle? That is the same shape as New Mexico,", he replied.

Then I saw it. Yep, I never knew it before but my bedroom is indeed shaped like New Mexico.

RocketMan adores maps. One of his favorite books is the Rand McNally US Atlas. I'm not kidding. The kid loves geography. The first time I realized how deep this passion went for him was when was five and eating graham crackers. He bit into one then held it up and said, "Look, Mom! It's Utah!"

A few days ago he asked me, with his most serious expression, "Mom, where would you most like to visit? The Sudan, Haiti or Libya?"

I'm thinking this child shouldn't be a travel agent!

They did what?

This week we are reading "When I Was Young in the Mountains." It is a picture book about a family in the Appalachian mountains. They are quite poor but very happy and content because of the love their family shares. The children in the book live with their grandparents and have no running water or indoor plumbing. My intent was to use the story to talk about the different types of families in the world and about being content with what you have instead of focusing on what you don't have.

We talked about those things but the children were more interested in the picture of the little girl headed to the outhouse in the middle of the night because she ate a second helping of fried okra. My kidlets wanted to know how an outhouse worked and were fascinated by the description. They talked about how scary it would be to go out at night to the outhouse and Gooseygirl declared that she never wanted to eat okra. They were having such fun I decided to add to their six year old fascination with bodily functions by telling them that toilet paper was a recent invention and prior to that they would use pages from catalogs and magazines.

RocketMan looked at me and said, "No they didn't mom. They used corn cobs."

Startled I said, "Who told you that, sweetie?"

"Oh, Dad did. He said his parents used to use corn cobs to wipe their bottoms", Gooseygirl replied with eyes dancing while holding back giggles.

Now, I sincerely doubt that my husband's parents, now deceased, used an outhouse but maybe Shawn was relaying a story about his parent's parents from long, long ago. Apparently Birdman hadn't been around when daddy shared this bit of family lore. He was floored.

One of his all time favorite foods is corn on the cob. You must understand that this boy LOVES to eat. He polishes off his plate before the rest of us. (Sometimes I feel like I'm raising hobbits. They have first breakfast, second breakfast, lunch, mid-day snack, dinner, supper, etc.) The thought that someone would willingly do something so gross with his beloved food was more than he could take. I saw the internal struggle he was having and said, "Ummmm... honey, they used old corn cobs. Not ones with actual corn still on them."

Relieved but still concerned, Birdman said, "Oh.... Mom, I'm glad we don't live in the mountains."

Some days our lessons are more fruitful than others. Today, my head is still spinning as I try to figure out how I got from a discussion about contentment versus envy all the way to outhouses.

New Toy!

We drove to Raleigh, NC this past weekend to pick up our new toy! It is a SeaRay deckboat! It has tons of storage and lots of room. It also goes wicked fast. Our kids can't wait to get on the lake and do some tubing.

This afternoon we're going to hook up their rubber bobbers to their fishing poles so that they can sit out in the driveway and cast to their hearts delight in our new boat!

The Romans

We've left the Greeks and are now studying the Romans during history. Our lesson focused on the Romans as builders. They built roads, aqueducts and apartment buildings. When I was traveling through France I was always humbled by the depth of the history you could walk in, on and through, from buildings to arches to roads.

One of these places was Pont du Gard, France. It has a massive aqueduct. My friend Juliet and I decided to take some cheese and a bottle of wine on the bus out to Pont du Gard. It was a beautiful, warm summer day. Perfect for a picnic. After we drank the bottle of wine we decided that it would be fun to walk across the top of the aqueduct.

So we hiked up and stumbled our way across the top. I don't know that this picture adequately shows how high the top of this aqueduct is. It is VERY high. Plus the wind was really whipping around. We got the middle of the aqueduct when the wine's effects started to wear off and Juliet and I decided that maybe this wasn't such a grand idea. Once we started thinking about how old the structure was and with no railings of any kind, we got down very quickly.

I shared a portion of this story with my kids and showed them pictures of Pont du Gard. Gooseygirl said, "You walked on the top of that?"

"Yeah, it wasn't a great choice, was it?", I said.

Rocketman said, "You could have died!"

Yep.... that's exactly what Juliet and I thought once we sobered up!

New neighbors!

We built a sunroom onto the back of the house and this is where we do school every day. Lots of window, lots of light and lots of nature. We live on five wooded acres surrounded by birds, deer, wild turkeys, fox, turtles, frogs, salamanders... you name it!

This morning we looked out the schoolroom window and saw two eastern bluebirds checking out one of the nesting boxes Shawn made two years ago. This is the first time we've had a family interested in moving in and the kids were so excited. I was too!

One of the two bluebirds got inside while the other stood watch outside. They stayed for a long time checking it out and then proceeded to check out the rest of the yard. They landed on the playground and found the feeder. We are going to put out nesting bags full of fur and string to encourage a bird family to call our nesting box home. Maybe we'll soon be baby bluebird step parents!

Mom, you're so uncool.

As a girl I LOVED schoolhouse rock. Do you remember it? The government had stipulations that each network had to carry so much educational programming. In order to fulfill that law, one of the networks would insert short jazzy cartoons with catchy songs about grammar, math, history and social studies.

Imagine my excitement when I found the complete DVD set of all the songs at the library! I was so excited and positive my kids would love, "I'm just a bill. Sittin' here on capital hill." Even Shawn was excited about it. We told the kids we'd have family movie night and watch a really great program. We really built up their expectations. I guess that was our first mistake.

I put in the DVD and told them these were mommy and daddy's favorite cartoons when we were little. The first song came up, "Conjunction junction what's your function?" Shawn and I are singing along having a ball.

After the second song, the kids shot us a look that said, "I can't believe I'm related to people this uncool." Then Emily said, "Mom, these are really dumb songs. Can we watch something else?"

I guess that's what you call a generation gap. I was crushed. When did I get so uncool?

Batter, Batter, Batter... SWING!

Last year was the first year our kids played baseball. Their team was the Red Sox. They had a great time and they were the oldest on the five/six co-ed team. We had one practice a week until the games started then we didn't have any practice, just the twice weekly games.

Well, their seven year old team is a whole other animal. We've got three practices a week with each practice lasting 2 hours! They are now the youngest on the seven year old team and Gooseygirl is the only girl. The first day of practice we met the coach. He is a nice fellow with a THICK southern accent. At the end of practice the coach gathered all the kids around him to announce our team's name.

The 10 kiddos surrounded him were expecting him to say, "We're the Reds" or "We're the Cardinals". Instead, with his pronounced drawl, the coach proudly said, "We're the MANNERS team!"

Stunned silence.

Finally Gooseygirl said loudly, "The Manners team? What kind of name is that?"

All the kids looked at coach like he was the absolute definition of uncool.

Coach then caught on that his accent was preventing him from being understood. "No, no, no. Not the Manners team. The MARINERS team!"

A sigh of relief passed through the kiddo crowd. Later at home RocketMan was giggling. I asked him what was so funny. He said, "I thought the coach said our team was gonna be called the Manures!" Upon hearing that BirdMan and GooseyGirl dissolved into belly laughs as they started calling out cheers, "Go Manure!", "You can do it Manure!", "Stop that ball, Manure!"

Bathroom humor AND baseball. Very American, don't you think?

Warrior Dog

We are members of a cult.

At least, that is what some people immediately think when you tell them you homeschool. Many times the stereotypical traits spring to their mind; radical right wing, bible thumping, denim jumper, long straight hair with poofy bangs, raising isolated and unsocialized children. Many people also think that all homeschoolers have declared open season on anything having to do with public education. By the way, we don't fit any part of these stereotypes. I don't even have bangs!

However, the notion that we have some sort of anti-public school agenda is now being reinforced by our dog, Lilly. She is really a docile dog. She's never met a stranger and loves, loves, loves everything and everyone. Because of that reason, it took me a while to figure out why Lilly sat at the end of the driveway frantically barking her head off for 30 minutes every morning from 8am-8:30am, Monday through Friday. I finally figured it out... she has declared war on the local public school bus.

We live in the country and at the end of a cul-de-sac. Every morning the big yellow bus pulls into our court and stops to pick up the sole teenager on the block. Lilly perceives the threat and starts to warn the big nasty yellow thing not to come any closer. Then the bus backs up and retreats from the subdivision defeated once again. Lilly perceives victory and celebrates her big, bad, warrior dog self for another 20 minutes. Then she has to continue to bark just in case that big ol' yellow intruder tries to sneak back.

Of course, the bus never learns and Monday through Friday Lilly has to protect our home from invasion. She is also instrumental in protecting our home from invading hot air balloons but that is another post.

Sometimes I truly wonder what our neighbors think. It can't be good.

He Is Risen!

Someone alert the media. A medical miracle has happened in Fisherville!

You may remember that my last blog entry detailed the demise of Leo, our new leopard frog tadpole. Well, Leo "Jesus" H. is ALIVE!!

We had given him up for dead and were ready to plan the memorial service when he started swimming again! He still likes to hang out upside down at the bottom of the aquarium without moving for a long, long time. However, he is most definitely alive.

In the mean time, the tadpole farm shipped out another tadpole for us since we had alerted them that Leo had perished. So we now have two tadpoles. Lightning seems to be playing with a full deck since he prefers to swim right side up and likes to move around quite a bit. The kids are thrilled while Shawn and I are just hoping that the two tadpoles don't turn out to be romantically inclined once they develop into frogs.

Also, we got our shipment of butterfly larvae. They are eating like mad and will soon climb up to the top of the jar to form chrysalis and change into butterflies. All of these critters, the 2 tadpoles and the 5 butterfly caterpillars, are sitting in the middle of the kitchen table.

Think of it as "Neuvo Chic Biology Decor". Look for it in the next Pottery Barn catalog. I'm sure this trend will catch on soon.

Hiatus

Fisherville Academy is on hiatus this week. Check back with us next week.

God Speed, Leo.

I went out to get the mail by myself and discovered a small white styrofoam box labeled, "Live Tadpole- Open Immediately!". I left it there so that Birdman could discover it himself. Once I got inside, I retrieved the video camera and sent my unsuspecting son out to get the mail. I tried so hard to keep the camera steady but I just couldn't stop giggling.

He walked out the 150 feet up the driveway as any 6 year old does, kicking rocks, petting the dog, skipping a few steps and tossing sticks aside. However, once he opened the mailbox a squeal of pure joy and delight erupted from him. He did the most adorable little dance in the middle of our street while shouting, "I don't believe it! It came! It's here!".

He grabbed the package and hoisted it up over his head with both hands as he ran as fast as he could towards the house, squealing with every step. He finally spied me and my camera just before he got to the door. "MOM! MY TADPOLE CAME!!" He pushed past me and flung open the door calling out, "Guys, guys! Look!"

Brother and sister erupted with glee and all three were jumping up and down with delight.

His name? Leo the Leopard Frog. However, there is a problem. Leo appears to be very, very "tired". He likes to sleep upside down at the bottom of his aquarium. I told Birdman last night that Leo might be sick and looks like he might die. He was so upset. His little heart just broke. After we tucked them into bed, GooseyGirl came downstairs and told us Birdman was crying. Shawn had to hold Birdman as sobbed until he fell asleep last night. It was so sad.

I called the tadpole farm and they are sending Leo II. It should get here in about 3 weeks.

The Bathroom, Source of Hilarity.

Through a very scientific poll we have determined that "Toot" is the most hilarious word in the English language. In fact, this particular word is even funnier if you can manage to turn it from a verb into a noun and then into an adjective/noun hybrid all in the same sentence. For example, "I'm gonna toot with my tooters and then you'll smell my tooty toots."

Yes, it appears we've entered the bathroom humor phase of life.

They've also begun finding ways to sneak in body part humor into general conversation. This newly minted ability leaves the three of them giggling in little gelatinous pools all over the floor. Things like, "I wanted to go outside... BUTT... I guess I'll stay inside instead."

Please tell me they outgrow this soon.

Planet Frog

For Christmas this year Birdman was given a Planet Frog habitat. Inside the aquarium was a certificate for one tadpole. The day after Christmas Birdman got out his little pencil with his special pencil grip and painstakingly scrawled out his name and address. Then he got on his coat and made the long solitary journey out to our mailbox to send it off. Before he sent it off I read the fine print for him. I spent special time on the clause that read delivery in 6-8 weeks only in warm weather.

After he mailed it he asked for a calendar and calculated up his wait. He said, "Momma, I won't be able to do school during February 'cause I'll be takin' care of my tadpole."

Well. I just got the email. Our little tadpole friend should be arriving in our mailbox any day now.

Can you hear the leaps of 6 year old joy coming from Fisherville?

Gift of Love

Last fall we went to Washington DC and got to do all the touristy things. Birdman started collecting rocks and pebbles where ever we went. He would pick up a rock from the Mall and one from the zoo. Little things to keep in his pockets in order to remember his trip. There was this one rock he found that was almost transparent. Birdman treasured this one above all the others.

Last week, Birdman and I hit a rough patch. It was so bad that I had to call in the Fisherville Academy principal. After a long talk with his daddy, Birdman decided to apologize. He came to me with love in his eyes and said, "Momma, I'm sorry I wasn't nice to you. I promise to treat you nicely during school time. I want you to have this to make you happy."

And with that he laid his treasured transparent rock in my hands. He beamed up at me and said, "Momma, isn't that the prettiest rock ever? I want you to keep it so that it will make you happy."

My eyes were misting up as I realized how special this little gift of love was. I held the little pebble in my hands and said, "Thank you, son. It is wonderful."

Birdman lovingly replied, "Yeah, I found it in that alley behind the garbage can when we were in Washington."

EEUUUEWWWWW!!!!

Free! FREE!

For the last 6 years we've only been able to watch our local stations via a giant antenna in the attic. We live too far out in the country to get cable. But we dropped our satelite subscription last year because we found we were only watching the broadcast stations anyway. However, the clarity of those stations has been grainy.

This morning we had an HDTV digital receiver put on our big screen TV and we now get all the local digital feeds FREE!

We've got 6 channels of PBS! 3 channels of NBC! HDTV Olympic coverage!

Forget paying $35/month to Direct TV- we've got it all from our antenna on the roof combined with a set top box HDTV receiver. The antenna pulls down the digital signal that the local stations broadcast and then the receiver converts it to high definition. I'm doing flips here.

Fisherville Academy is on vacation this week while we rot our brains with wall to wall coverage of the Winter Olympics! WAHOOO!!!!

Mammals make milk.

Well, my kidlets didn't connect the dots at the zoo but they sure did today during science class.

Me: Who can tell me the characteristics of a mammal?

Birdman: They have fur or hair

Rocketman: They are warm blooded.

Me: Good! And they are also the only creatures who make milk. Remember that we are mammals. So humans can also make milk.

Gooseygirl: You mean, like, at the grocery store?

Me: No, mommies make milk for their babies from their breasts.

Dead silence. They looked at me like I was about to sprout a second head. Then they started giggling which sent me into a fit of giggles too.

Gooseygirl: We knew that. It comes from here.
Gooseygirl picks up her shirt and points at her belly button.

Me: No, that is how you got food while you were inside of my body. I'm talking about after you were born. You drank milk that my body made because I'm a mammal.

At this point, all three of them were staring at my breasts with wrinkled brows and disbelief.

Gooseygirl (reaches over and squeezes both of my breasts): Are you talking about your humps?

Me: Yes.

Birdman: But how? Does something come out of your skin?

Me: No, it is already poking out of my skin. Mommies have breasts. Babies drink milk from their mommies' breasts.

Rocketman: You mean these two things?
He lifts up his shirt to point at his nipples.

Me: Yes, but you are a boy. You don't make milk. Only the girls. Someday Gooseygirl will feed her baby milk that her body has made.

A look of the primitive fight or flight instinct passes over Gooseygirl's face. Her two brothers turn to look at her with new eyes and suspicion.

Birdman (to Gooseygirl): You're gonna have twins 'cause you've got two of 'em!

Gooseygirl, at this point, is near panic.
Gooseygirl: Stop looking at me!!!

Rocketman (turns to me with astonishment): That means, you've got three of them????

I dissolved into a fit of giggles. It was the end of science for the day. However, they keep stealing looks at my chest. Science lesson... check!

Mamma, will I have humps like you?

At some point today I'm going to have to talk about my humps. At least, that's what Gooseygirl calls them. I'm talking about breasts. Recently she patted me on the chest and said, "Mamma, when I get bigger am I going to have humps like you?"

Today our science lesson is about mammals. The lesson points out that humans are mammals and then proceeds to discuss the characteristics of mammals including, of course, nursing their young. My kidlets have run across this fact in other books but have always thought it referred to a tall glass of ice cold 2%.

For the lesson, we are headed to the zoo where we'll play a game identifying mammals. During the game if we see a mammal nursing her young we get an additional 50 bonus points. At some point they will connect the dots, from themselves to my humps.

I've got pictures of the three of them laying on me while Birdman nurses. However, I think that would induce to much trauma in one day. Wish me luck! We're headed to the zoo now.

A hug for my heart

I was cleaning out some papers on my desk and found this note. BirdMan wrote it while we were at a Halloween party. There were different craft booths and he was bopping between each one. He was on his own and just having fun exploring the room without anyone else.

One of the booths was a thankful wreath and the children were asked to write down what they were thankful for. The only reason I found this is because later I was wandering around and decided to read what all the other children had written.
Finding it nestled with all the other sentiments was a little hug to my heart!

Modjeskas and flood control

Yesterday Fisherville Academy had a field trip to Schimpff's Candy Store. They've been in business since 1891 and make candy the old fashioned way. During our tour they were making Modjeskas which is a marshmallow dipped in caramel. Everything is done by hand from dipping the goodies in a vat of chocolate to individually wrapping each piece in wax paper. The kids seemed to enjoy the tour but the candy isn't what captured their imagination. Instead, they were more impressed with the flood.

During the tour, our guide took us outside and showed us the markings on the wall of where the Ohio flooded in the late 1800's. As we stood on the sidewalk the kids were able to see that the Ohio would have been about a foot over their heads. Then our guide told us to step back and look up. On the second floor level were red bricks marking the level of the great Ohio river flood of 1937. The kids were AMAZED.

After the tour, we drove down to the river and showed the kids the flood wall that was built after that big flood to protect our town. Then we headed down to the falls of the Ohio and saw the water spilling over the dam. It was all serendipity because our next stop was the IMAX movie, Mysteries of the Nile. During our history lessons this year, they've studied how the yearly flooding of the Nile was crucial to ancient Egypt. After the movie we got to check out the museum's mummy. It was a wonderful day and we were glad that Grandma agreed to be a chaperone!

The kids told me their career aspirations yesterday:

GooseyGirl: Veterinarian, Zookeeper or Pet Shop Worker
RocketMan: Veterinarian, Cheetah expert or Piano Player at the local department store
BirdMan: Veterinarian, Engineer or Helping children make K'nex models at the Children's Center in Baltimore

Persia, Athens and Sparta

Sixty years. Sixty! That's how long the Persian War with the Greeks lasted. Sixty! Considering the average life span at that time I just can't imagine being in a conflict that long. Then after the Spartans and Athenians drove out the Persians they turned on each other and fought for another 25 years during the Peloponnesian Wars.

Today during history we talked about the war between Sparta and Athens. The kids were especially intrigued by the story of Alcibiades (whom I'd never heard of). He wanted to be King and talked the Athenians, weakened from the plague, into fighting the Spartans. They lost horribly so he deserted Athens and turned traitor. What a scoundrel! The kids decided he was very, very naughty. Words like loyalty, trust and leadership were flying around the schoolroom.

What I like most about the classical approach to education is the chronological study of history that moves forward with great depth and repeats the cycle every four years. This year the kids are studying the ancients which covers from the nomads to about 400AD. They've had such fun with Greek history that we've sort of camped out here in the book and wallowed in the Greek myths and gods for a bit.

They know that Athens was dedicated to the goddess Athena and that the Spartans refused to help Athens fight Persia at the Battle of Marathon due to an ongoing religious festival they were having. Today Gooseygirl said, "Mommy, each side thought their gods would look out for them and help them to win their wars."

I said, "Do you think their gods really did help them win or lose?"

She said, "No".

I said, "Well, even today people believe that God is involved in the outcome of war and battles that countries have with each other. What do you think?"

She said, "I think it just makes Him sad."

Some days I teach my kids but most days my kids teach me.